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  • Flop Ten: Worst Marvel Video Games of all Time

    Flop Ten: Worst Marvel Video Games of all Time

    When it comes to superheroes and awesome stories, no one beats Marvel. However, their characters don’t always translate beautifully to video games. While some of their video games have been awesome (Spider-Man 2 comes to mind) others have been downright awful. Today, we’re taking a look at the worst Marvel video games of all time!

    Worst Marvel Video Games of all Time

    Uncanny X-Men 1989

    Photo Credit: Defunct Games
    NES games weren’t well-known for their stellar graphics, but usually you could at least tell where you were able to walk. This ill-conceived X-Men title barely functions as a game, let alone an X-Men game. A generic, top-down shooter, the worst part of this game is how bland it is. Even selecting different X-Men characters barely changes the gameplay and functions more like a palette swap.

    Iron Man 2008

    Photo Credit: The Astute Gamer

    Tie-in games with Marvel films rarely fare too well with critics. This 2008 Iron Man tie-in is no exception. Featuring odd voice work and weird character models, this game is entirely awkward. Gameplay is stiff and far too easy, resulting in fights with no tension or drama. For how awesome the movie was, this game is a disappointing adaptation!

    Spider-Man 1982

    Photo Credit: YouTube

    Spider-Man has been the start of countless video games throughout the years. This early-80’s game, released for the Atari, was one of his earliest appearances on a home system. Unfortunately, it’s also a buggy, frustrating mess. The gameplay is repetitive, featuring Spidey trying to land pixel-perfect web shots to climb buildings. Instead of, you know, just climbing up them with his superpower. The best thing about this awful game is its hilarious cheesy commercial.

    Punisher No Mercy

    Photo Credit: YouTube

    The term “uninspired” is overused in video game criticism, but it’s so often exactly what a game is. This bland shooter has all the charm of a Call of Duty title without the polished mechanics or engaging gunplay. Without a solid narrative to pin down the single player campaign, you’re left with just the multiplayer. Sadly, even anything more interesting than a CTF mode or King of the Hill is missing in this boring 2009 shooter. Oh well, maybe Frank’s next game will be a winner!

    Incredible Hulk 2008

    Photo Credit: Gamepressure

    For how awesome the MCU is, it had its fair share of terrible game tie-ins early on. The Hulk, for his part, controls like a slab of green meat on ice skates. Punching enemies is dull and makes nearly no impact. Destroying environments in repetitive missions isn’t fun or satisfying the way it should be. You feel less like an unstoppable force of nature than like a kid in a fake cardboard town. Everything is just so… flat.

    Thor, God of Thunder

    Photo Credit: NY Daily News

    Thor is awesome, and so was his first movie outing in the MCU. Unfortunately, as was the case for all MCU game tie-ins, it’s middling at best. Combat is stiff, and the camera actively fights the player. Missions are rarely explained well, and the player is often left lost or stumbling. The narrative, which vaguely follows the film’s plot, is convoluted and hard to keep up with. Really, this one isn’t so much bad as it is overly mediocre. This one’s better off left with the blown-up remains of Old Asgard.

    Fantastic Four 1997

    Photo Credit: Forces of Geek

    For being as awesome as they are, the FF sure do get crapped on a lot outside of comics. The four awful films they’ve been crammed into and this stinker of a game haven’t done the team any favors. In this side-scrolling beat-em-up, you control one of the four members of the team. It doesn’t really matter which one, as they’re all identical in game, despite their vastly different powers. The enemies have far too much health, the levels go on forever and boredom comes standard. If you can make it through this slug-fest you’ve got the patience of a saint.

    Silver Surfer 1990

    Photo Credit: YouTube
    Speaking of games that try your patience, here’s one that does so for a very different reason. Silver Surfer, much like the Fantastic Four, has not gotten a fair shake outside of comics. He’s a cool character: tragically flawed, tormented and endearing. His video game adaptation, however, is an overly-difficult, cluttered mess. Each level is rife with obstacles that only become apparent after they kill you. The core gameplay isn’t awful, but it’s hardly worth slogging through the absurd difficulty curve.

    Amazing Spider-Man 2

    Photo Credit: YouTube

    ASM2 was effectively the emblem of superhero film mediocrity. Sony dropped the ball in numerous ways with the film, one of which was the equally middling video game tie-in. This game wouldn’t exactly be described as bad, per se. Instead, it’s disappointing for how close it comes to being good. The end product, however, feels like a stitched-together series of half-finished gameplay concepts. Thankfully, the 2018 Insomniac take on the wall-crawler has come to wash the bad taste of this one out of our mouths!

    X-Men Destiny

    Photo Credit: IGN

    The most disappointing Marvel game of them all, however, is the abysmal X-Men Destiny. Hailed as revolutionary before release, the game promised a lot. One such promise was a custom player character. Another promise held that the narrative would change based on player decisions.

    However, upon release, these claims were found to be greatly exaggerated. The game’s story is boring and player choice is near meaningless. What’s worse, player characters are selected from pre-generated templates instead of being original creations. That’s really the opposite of what fans were excited for with this one. Since its release, X-Men fans are cautious when it comes to any video game rumors or speculation.

  • Which is the Worst Car Ever Made?

    Which is the Worst Car Ever Made?

    DeLorean DMC-12

    Photo Credit: DeLorean Company

    Full disclosure: I love everything about Back to the Future. It’s heartwarming, hilarious and just altogether wonderful. That doesn’t excuse the DeLorean from its many faults, though. The DeLorean is stylish, to be sure. But it has some glaring design flaws that make it a mess to use as a normal vehicle. On the small-scale, it has a windshield-mounted antenna, so good luck picking up radio signals. More glaring, however, was the car’s weight-to-engine ratio. The DeLorean was heavy, partly as a result of its spotty build thanks to the inexperienced workers making it. Further, to cut costs, the engine was underpowered. This resulted in a very sluggish, unresponsive drive and a generally disappointing experience. Marty hitting 88 MPH in a DeLorean is honestly more unlikely than Doc Brown making a time machine.

    The Eagle Premier

    Photo Credit: Wikipedia

    After being bought by Chrysler in the late 80’s, the Eagle brand suffered a pretty serious identity crisis. Chrysler had to swap out the original, somewhat fuel-efficient AMC engine for contractual reasons. In its place, the company put a PRV 3.0 Liter V6. This engine is incredibly thirsty, guzzling gas in a way that makes no sense for a car this small. Further, the car suffers from sloppy braking, has a dash-mounted gear-shifter and is generally just bland and boring. While some cars on this list have a few fans, the Eagle Premier is not one of them.

    Chevrolet Vega

    Photo Credit: Wikipedia

    Astonishingly produced from 1971 to 1977, the Chevy Vega was created in the midst of several worker’s strikes. And boy, does it show. It was rushed to market and underdeveloped, and several flaws were still present in the vehicle when it went to mass-market. These flaws would go on to be found by customers: the aluminum block engine, for instance, would overheat and warp. This would cause it to rattle, lose oil and generally perform unreliably. And really, your customers shouldn’t be finding such glaring flaws in your design after the car has been mass-produced.

    Hummer H2

    Photo Credit: WeBe Autos

    The golden years of dude-bro jocks riding in oversized gas-guzzlers came between 2003-2009. You see, those were the years that the Hummer H2 was in production. The Hummer had militaristic design angle and got nine miles to the gallon. Yes, nine. If you think a car could be more out of touch with its era, you’re wrong. The H2 hit the scene right as America was going to war in the Middle East over oil. And it looked like a tank. A tank that guzzled gas. Perhaps you’re following this to its logical conclusion: the vehicle was an insult to Americans and the world as a whole by what it represented. Not to mention, as a car, it was nothing special. It had heated seats and a nice stereo, sure, but it cost $53,000. All that to have a hard time parking anywhere and spend hundreds on gas every month? No thanks.

    First Generation Maserati Biturbo

    Photo Credit: Wikipedia

    While the Biturbo, released in 1981, may bear the Maserati name, it doesn’t have that brand’s signature build quality. Maserati was a little low on funds in this era, and as such, they outsourced the design and assembly of the Biturbo’s body. And it shows, too. This unreliable mess of a car can go pretty fast, but it rattles and shakes and doesn’t slow down well after getting up to speed. The Biturbo has the dubious distinction of being the worst car from a fantastic carmaker. Surprisingly, it stayed in production until 1986.

    Lexus SC 430

    2002 Lexus SC 430.

    Photo Credit: Autoblog

    Another terrible car from a great carmaker, the Lexus SC 430 is a confusing vehicle. The SC 430 was released in 2001, and somehow remained in production until 2004. Priced as a luxury car, the vehicle packed a wimpy v8 engine and had a cramped interior. It didn’t have much in the way of style, either: it was designed to look like a yacht. Seriously, Lexus somehow missed all the “boat car” jokes and literally designed a car to look like a boat. And, get this: Lexus intended for the SC 430 to actually contend with BMW’s luxury offerings. No, seriously!

    Reliant Robin Mk. 1

    Photo Credit: Flickr

    Famously derided on Top Gear for its three-wheeled design, the Reliant Robin Mk. 1 is a seriously ugly vehicle. The vehicle was rather popular in Northern England, as it was cheap, but it had a pretty major flaw. You see, when you make a three-wheeled vehicle, and that vehicle is top heavy, it flips over. A lot. And that’s really quite dangerous! While the famous Top Gear segment showing how the Robin is incredibly prone to topple over was staged, it still demonstrates how dangerous it is to have only one front wheel.

    Amphicar

    Photo Credit: Petrolicious

    In 1961, the Amphicar made the scene. Yes, someone looked at their car and said, “let’s make it a boat, too.” Jokes aside, the car was made in West Germany and was intended to echo WWII era designs for amphibious vehicles. The Amphicar, however, sported an absolutely abysmal performance both on land and on water. The tiny little engine only carried 38.3 horsepower. If you’re going to make a car that’s also a boat, make sure it’s also a car, first. Worse still, though, the car wasn’t waterproof. It used a pump to control leaks. If you’re going to make a boat that’s also a car, make sure it’s also a boat first, too, apparently.

    The Yugo

    Photo Credit: Car Sales Base

    The Yugo has the distinction of being in production the longest of any of the vehicles on this list. Originally released in 1978, this awful little vehicle stayed around until 2008. The Yugo’s draw was just how cheap it was, coming in at $4,000. However, you get what you pay for, as the terrible car had a whopping 45 horsepower and topped out at 80 MPH. After 1991, the build quality of the Yugo got so poor that the vehicle had a reputation for its self-destructing habits. The timing belt was prone to snapping, and when that happened, the engine would essentially blow up. Maybe shell out a little more than $4,000 for a new car next time, guys!

    The Worst Car Ever Made: The Ford Pinto

    Photo Credit: Hemmings Motor News

    The Ford Pinto’s sins are numerous, and they all add up to make it the worst car ever. You likely knew this one was going to be on the list when you saw the name. That said, for those of you unfamiliar with the vehicle, we’ve give you the run down. Produced from 1971-1980, the Pinto is an unforgivably ugly vehicle. It has very little power under the hood, the suspension is terrible, and it has abysmal brakes. The worst part, though, was that the gas tank was located in the back of the car. This gave the Pinto a bad habit of literally exploding into flames when rear-ended. To add insult to injury, a Ford memo stating that they’d rather pay out settlements to victims than safety-test their vehicle led to a PR disaster. To this day, the Pinto’s infamy is widely-known.