9. An Actual Pyramid
Image Credit: Google Patents
This totally original idea was filed as “Burial Structure for Human Remains and Significant Memorabilia” with the US Patent Office…in 2004. In this century, someone tried to patent a freaking pyramid. These proud structures have overlooked the desert plains of Egypt for thousands of years, but the ancient Egyptians forgot to patent their design. That’s on them.
The most bizarre part is that the patent was actually approved. The so-called inventors suggested a new theft deterrent measure—you gotta protect all that swag you’re buried with—and that was apparently enough to get the application rubberstamped.